


Decepticon Television Network - Excerpt 2

by Plonq



Series: Transformers Television [3]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Cooking, Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor, Parody, Screenplay/Script Format, Television
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plonq/pseuds/Plonq
Summary: Announcer [voiceover]:"You have been watching D-TV, the Decepticon Television Network. Remember that watching D-TV is mandatory. Failure to watch D-TV or failing to report any fellow Decepticon who is not watching D-TV is subject to punishment up to summary deactivation at Lord Megatron's discretion."[Promo]"Coming up next:Cooking With Starscream"
Series: Transformers Television [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876531
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23





	Decepticon Television Network - Excerpt 2

[Promo]

**Announcer [voiceover]** : "Coming up next on D-TV it's _Cooking With Starscream._ "

[Excerpt]

**Starscream: (** He is wearing a jaunty purple apron with 'Promote The Cook' written across it in fancy Cybertronian script. He is standing in front of a blender, filled 2/3 with frothy, pink Energon.) "Make sure you blend the Energon until it is frothy. The best Energon for this recipe is the responsibly sourced kind, hand-drawn from the cleanly-severed, gushing carotid hose of a freshly downed Autobot."

**Starscream:** (Derisively.) "If you are too pathetic to have downed an Autobot recently, you can alternatively purchase Energon in bulk from the rationing depot if you are of sufficient rank and status."

**Starscream:** (Picks up a shard of metal off the counter and weighs it in his hand before crumbling it in his grip.) "Next you must crush in a generous portion of cadmium. Do not skimp on this ingredient. Crush it in your fist using the vigour and enthusiasm with which you would crush the head of your incompetent leader under your heel. Show the metal no mercy!"

**Starscream:** (Brushes the metallic crumbs into the blender and sneers at the viewers.) _"_ It has been brought to my attention that some of you are 'cadmium intolerant', and you think that you can just use something else here."

**Starscream: (** Continues to sneer at the viewers.)

**Starscream:** Yes. Tin is a good substitute. Also, don't even **think** about using preground metals - the oxidation and anti-caking compounds will ruin this recipe."

**Announcer [voiceover]** : "It's _Cooking With Starscream_ , coming up next on D-TV."


End file.
